I was walking home one evening and came upon a clearly depressed man standing at the edge of a bridge, looking like he was about to jump. 
I called out to him to wait, and ran over to see what was the matter. 
"It's this country," he lamented. 
"It's falling into ruin and there's nothing I can do about it. 
The election was the last straw. I don't want to live on this planet anymore."

Well cheer up," I said. "We're all in this together. 
Say, are you a conservative, or a libertarian?"
"A libertarian," he said. "That's great!" I said. 
"See, you're not alone. Are you a free-market libertarian or a libertarian socialist?"
"Free-market libertarian," he said. "Me too!" I said. 
"Paleo-libertarian or neo-libertarian?" "Paleo-libertarian," he said. "Hey, so am I!" I said.
"Chicago or Austrian school of economics?" "Austrian," he said. "Me too," I said. 
"Hayek or Rothbardian strand?" "Rothbardian," he said. "Same here," I said.
"Are you a consequentialist or deontological libertarian?" "Consequentialist," he said.
So I said, "Die, statist scum!" and pushed him off the bridge.